For the Fellas...

A real woman knows how to be a woman. She knows how to handle her business, whether that be in the bedroom, on the street, or doing her thing in the office. She does not, repeat, does NOT need a man to tell her what he ‘thinks’ she ought to be, how she ought to look, how she ought to speak. We’re people, not pets – sorry fellas. I’m just mystified by the amount of men…correction, boys playing dress-up, who either don’t know how to respect a woman or just care not to.

We don’t want to be whispered at on the street. Grabbing at my hand, arm, ass even, to get my attention is NOT going to get you any play – we are not your playthings, and our worth far exceeds what’s between our thighs. We don’t want to hear your weak @ss lines, you have NO game – why is it that people even look at it as being game in the first place? I don’t care how much you might have in the bank or what you drive – real women aren’t gold-diggers, we can take care of our damn selves and THENsome.

If you want to get a good woman in your life, you need to learn to respect us. We are the way through which human life is created, can we get a little appreciation? Talk to us and treat us like we’re people, not objects. Don’t assume that we’re all out to ‘tie you down’ or ‘take you money’ or any of those foolish things.

Yea, this might sound a little angry, but sometimes a woman gets tired of hearing men complain about what a woman ought to be when next to nothing is said about what he NEEDS to be. So, instead trying to get us to step our game up, how about some of y’all grow up.

Bless,

w-o-m-a-n

Reflections of a Liberated Dread

As a black woman I’ve been through some serious stuff with my hair…I got my 1st perm when I was 7 years old, and wore them until I began to get ugly head sores from the chemicals when I was about 15. I then went to wearing braids exclusively for 2-3 years and took them out after all the perm had gone only to perm them again for my junior prom…back to braids until…senior prom. Going to college I went right back into the safe haven that was braids, and then in my sophomore year I got bold enough to rock an afro and thus began my napptural life. Since then I’ve loc’d my hair and 19 months in I’m still loving it.

As a member of http://www.nappturality.com/ I’ve learned a lot about maintaining my locs (which I now freeform, and do next to nothing to – I highly recommend it), and I’ve participated in some discussions on the dread aesthetic as well. Yet today while reading a particular post about a newbie’s issue with puffy roots I realized just how little we as black women know about our hair.

Sure, I was one of those women who just didn’t know how to do my hair when I was a permie – all I wore were wraps and ponytails, with the occasional flip thrown in from time to time. I simply didn’t know how to take care of or style my own hair. Once I went napptural, I got to become more involved with my hair as I’d wash it and style it on my own, and now as a dread I’ve learned so much more about my hair from doing absolutely nothing. It’s an enlightening and liberating experience to not feel bound by what’s on top of our head. Sometimes I think black women love our hair so much that we fear it, thinking that anything that we might do to it would ruin it, and so we leave it up to the ‘professionals.’

But my goodness, my sistahs if only we took the time to get to know ourselves and our own hair…just imagine how much money we could save, how much peace we could find, and how much more confidence we’d have! Why is it that we still, even as nappturals, cling to this mentality that uniform and manicured manes are the way to go? Our hair is naturally wild and free, why can’t we accept it? I used to go to a loctitian to get my locs maintained because I wasn’t sure I could do it on my own. I also liked how the uniform locs look, so I understand that as well.

But it is just so LIBERATING to have your hair and be proud of it and feel sexy in it even when you think it’s not looking its best. Whether my hair is short, or long, super curly and thick, or locs doing their own thing…napptural hair is and can be only as beautiful as the person rocking the style is. If you’re not comfortable within yourself, there ain’t no way a new ‘do is going to help. I think we need to free ourselves of the standards that society has placed upon us and the standards we place upon ourselves. God has already done a wonderful job when He made each and every one of us, so we need to say thanks to Him for it and go forth and be fly! lol

Seriously, I suppose the reason why I’m even bothering to say all of this is because it just hit how unaware I and a good deal of my sistren are of our own hair and how we can be scare ourselves into a box when it comes to hair care and styling. Embrace that untamable mane of yours and don’t be afraid to flaunt it wherever you might be. Yes, people will always have something negative to say or some just may not understand, but that should never deter you from being proud of who you are, how you look, or what it is you represent. If you’re napptural or if you’re a permie, take the time to acquaint yourself with your hair, and if you’re a permie I hope that one day you’ll get to experience the freedom that can come from wearing the hair that God originally placed on your head (chemical free!) and I hope that all of us can look upon each other and see our own beauty reflected in the eyes of our sisters.

Peace & Many Blessings
CBrava